Morgan's Memories: February 2013

Our sicky sicky bug
So so heart breaking

I have never ever...(.well I cant say never--remember how our labor and delivery was 24 hrs with 40 hrs of no sleep) been so tired. I was quick to say that it was harder than the first weeks at home and my mom quickly reminded me about how tired we were then, but how soon I forgot about that.

R-S-V

Thats all I have to say.

Whew!

We did lots of this: sleeping on mama
I certainly loved all the snuggles

We are on the up and up! Thank you sweet Lord. This has been one of the hardest few weeks we have been through. What started out as a very small minor cold (even thought it was teething) turned into the worst RSV (ok, no worst bc we werent admitted to the hospital). But I really don't want to go through that again. I learned a lot about myself as a mom and God is pruning me as a mom I would have to say. There were many tears shed. One day I was having a meltdown and I look over, Maddie is just looking at me. This was on a day when I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore.

some days we would get smiles

6 doctor visits
1 ER visit
multiple throw ups
breathing treatments (she was such a trooper)
ear infection
antibiotics
steam baths

steam bath number 2342

one of the many visits to the doctors
I couldnt ask for a better PCP

At first she continued to sleep through the night and I was shocked. Then came one night recently when she only slept from 2am-6am. She would wake up every hr just screaming bloody murder. It was awful. Her cry has become hoarse and its just heart wrenching. Seeing your sweet angel this sick has been so so heart breaking.
I have realized that I need to let go of control! God definiately is trying to teach me 2 major things through this illness. Let go on control and have more patience. I was so happy and so comfortable on our amazing schedule that when she stopped eating, stopped sleeping, and the schedule went down the drain, I thought life was never going to be the same again. I would get frustrated bc she wouldn't eat like she did-i know exhaustion had some to do with my weariness. I would get upset bc I was so discouraged at one thing happening after another (not to mention Andrew getting the stomach bug on top of EVERYTHING else!). I feel like God is saying--patience sweet child, you need to have patience and let go of the things you can't control like her eating and her sleeping-she is sick. I dont want to be the mom that gets frustrated at things I can't control bc with a child there is going to be more than I can imagine with that. I realize that if I continue to get down and out about those things, Im going to not be the mom He intended me to be and its going to make life a lot harder. Being a mom is a tough job but also the most joyful one. Its hard to have a clear mind when you have been stuck inside and not sleeping much day after day. I had a run with post partum depression after delivery and I was scared that it was going to creep back into my life. Thankfully, it never did. I got down but after a "come to jesus" prayer, God had extra mercy and grace for me I think.

At the ER seeing if we can keep down some Pedialyte
After a chest xray and some deep suction
Thank the Lord for deep suction (wish I could bring it home)

sweet thing on saturday 2/16
after many episodes of throwing up, wheezing, coughing
this was one sick girl with 2 worried parents

We have had amazing friends and family check on us, give us dinner, send us hot cookies, and just help out! My sister received multiple 2am phone calls and texts bc I just didnt know what to do! Last night 2/23 was the first night we didnt hear screaming and I was so thankful. Andrew let me rest till 10am and took care of her. So sweet!

Finally! We are seeing our sweet angel come back! I couldn't be happier and more relieved to see her eating, sleeping better, playing, and giggling. Oh how I have missed her! She lights up our hearts!